No beatin' 'round the bush!

Kid: Mommy, all kids need fathers, right?

Me: Yes, kids need fathers & mothers.

Kid: But, if a kid doesn’t have a father, can he go to a foster parent?

Me: Well, some kids live in foster homes-and, thank God for those foster parents who
take care of those kids. ...

Kid: So, what’s a guardian?

Me: A guardian is someone that takes care of a kid if the parents can’t or won’t take care of their own kids-like a foster parent.

Kid: Well, why would a parent NOT take care of their own kids?

Me: Sometimes parents are sick and can’t take care of their kids. Sometimes parents die in accidents or from their illness. Sometimes parents just don’t take care of their kids.

Kid: Oh, so you mean when a parent just doesn’t take care of their kids then they are lazy and not being responsible, right?

Me: Yes…I guess so!

Kid: Then, why do they make the children if they are not going to take care of them?

Me: That’s a good question.

Kid: (Thinking out loud) Maybe they are just selfish!

Why Do Some Wives Say This?

Ok, now please don't take this the wrong way, but I've been wondering why some women-now wives, respond to this question like this:
Q: How long have you been married?

A: Oh, we've been married 2 years (or 5 or 16 or 25), but we've been together for 12 (or 16 or 22).

Why does being married have to be qualified? What does the extra information mean? Why is it important to the wife answering the question?

I asked myself these questions and I called a friend who is dating someone. She did not know, either but mentioned, "I don't know, E-I'm not married."

The few answers I came up with were: (a) The wife/woman is silently acknowledging the significance of dating someone for a few years (or more) even before they were married; (b) wife/woman may be embarrassed or feel some kind of guilt and shame if she and her now husband were shacking-up before marriage; (c) The wife/woman definitely knows and understands that even if she and her now husband had lived together before marriage, there is something immensely different, beautiful, special, complex, and Holy than just living together for any amount of time.

Which leads me to my final thought(s) on this-if women/wives KNOW that marriage is a different beast than shacking-up, do we tell our children the significance of marriage vs. living together? Do we broach the subject with our family & friends-whom we dearly love-that they should consider the choices they are making? Do we dare go into the marketplace and explain these concepts to politicians and policy makers who we may otherwise support because he/she represents the political party we are beholden to support? Do we stand silent when we are asked about dating, pre-marital relations, co-habitation, etc. because we don't want to offend anyone?

The bottom-line is do we speak the truth in love? If we are Christians, Ephesians 4:15 commands us to do so, but we must be careful that we are not speaking our version of truth (feelings, opinions) and presenting that as the Gospel. While our feelings and opinions have a place, we must first start with, 'What does the Word say about...? and only after presenting what God says about the subject are we to use our feelings and experiences as examples that will help our family and friends.

Let me hear from you!

Evie

Transparency in Christian Marriages-Let's start with Wifey!

Again, I'm only focusing on Christian marriages because I believe if we want to see real & good change in marriages in general, then we must lead by example-that example being God, given through His word, revealed in Christ.

One of the issues I am more appreciative of today is time. I know, you thought I was going to say the 'S' word (submit), but not directly. Time is important because what we do with our time is an indicator of what's important to us-at least at that moment.

Let me ask you wives-Where do you spend most of your time? Is it caring for your family? Are you working outside the home? How many hours per week do you drive back/forth to work? How many home-cooked meals do you prepare for your family? Are you a full-time homemaker? Do you attend any activities at your kids' school? Is your child in day-care or someone else's care more than 10-15 hours per week-even during the school season? Are we making time to sit and talk to our spouses?

Now some of you are fuming at my questions, I know, but I want to assure you, I'm asking myself some of these questions, too, and more. While you're thinking about these questions and others, I want to hear from you what you're thinking, what do you feel when you ask yourself these questions? Do you feel anger, frustration, overwhelmed, guilt, or anything else? I'm not even focusing on solutions right now, just emotions.

Before I end, I want you to think about this-What does it meant to 'Have it all,' and is there a cost to doing so? Let's start digging in and being honest and transparent with ourselves and each other.

To my Sisters-in-Christ!

Europe & Its Problem With Israel

http://www.prageruniversity.com/r139282/Political-Science/Why-Europe-Has-a-Problem-with-Israel.html

What I Really Want to Write About!

I've been thinking lately, really thinking and praying about it-that I should write about Christian marriages.

No, not just the seemingly universal problems dealing with finances, children, in-laws, housework, etc., but Christian marriages that are difficult to live through.

I don't want these writings or blogs to turn into a pity-party or a man-bashing/husband-demeaning portal, but I believe there are many Christian marriages that are being endured, not living out their full potential and purpose in Christ.

Let me know what you think. Let me hear from you if you are in a difficult marriage. I believe God can use our transparency to break down strongholds and quicken dead marriages.

Our God specializes in resurrecting that which is dead and since He created marriage, He sure knows how to bring them back to life.

"12 Things the Negro must do for himself," Posted at Black Men In America

http://bmia.wordpress.com/2010/01/03/12-things-the-negro-must-do-for-himself-by-nannie-helen-burroughs

POTUS visits my kid's school!

 

Last week, POTUS visited my kid’s school. Here is how my conversation went with the local police officer and one of the Secret Service personnel:

PO: (As I’m dropping off my kid at the entrance) Ok ma’am- you can leave her here and I need you to go ahead and leave. She will be safe.

Me: Officer, let’s get something straight right now-I do this EVERYDAY and I WILL stand here until she goes into the building. I understand I cannot go thru the barricade/detector, but, I WILL stand here until she goes into the building. Please don’t patronize me with, “She will be safe-we got her,” because that implies on the other 180+ school days, she’s not safe-Is that what you’re saying?
...
PO: Ma’am, I’m just doing my job. I’m not trying to say you’re not the mother, but, I have kids, too. (He was looking very nervous at this time)

Me: Officer --- First, let me assure you that I will not curse you out nor will I disrespect you and what you’re doing. I am thankful that you serve our city and I understand you’re doing your job. I am a veteran, so I understand and support your service. But, since we both have kids, you should know & understand that as a mother, I and most of these parents out here bring our kids to this school everyday and this is what we do. Since I cannot enter the building, I will stand on this lawn, in front of you and this barricade until my kid has entered the building. This is MY kid, not the government’s, not POTUS (I said Obama’s), and since POTUS’ kids have 24/7 armed security-including at school, then I only have the satisfaction of knowing my kid is safe when I assure that she is safely in the building. You all are only here for the 30 minute ‘Pimp the kids photo op’ so, please, spare me the drama.

After I assured him I was not going to curse him or disrespect him-but, I wasn’t moving until I saw my kid in the school-he relaxed. One of the vice principals came over to me to thank me for not being disrespectful or cursing because, as she said, “Mom, you would not believe how many times we have already been cursed out this morning.”

As I was going back to my car, a small group of angry parents were on the corner waiting to cross the street. A Secret Service man was right on the corner with us and as we were venting to each other, he heard me use my ‘Pimp the kids photo op’ line and he laughed and said, “Ma’am-you’re right. I totally understand and agree.” I told him not to say too much because he was on duty and in uniform. He laughed at that, too.

I also made the point to say that all this pomp & circumstance is a political ploy and I don’t care who is in office-because Amy, Ron Jr., Chelsea, Jenna & Barbara, and Malia & Sasha did, do, & will always have 24/7 security, but our kids & school were chosen to be pimped and played for political reasons.