Ok, now please don't take this the wrong way, but I've been wondering why some women-now wives, respond to this question like this:
Q: How long have you been married?
A: Oh, we've been married 2 years (or 5 or 16 or 25), but we've been together for 12 (or 16 or 22).
Why does being married have to be qualified? What does the extra information mean? Why is it important to the wife answering the question?
I asked myself these questions and I called a friend who is dating someone. She did not know, either but mentioned, "I don't know, E-I'm not married."
The few answers I came up with were: (a) The wife/woman is silently acknowledging the significance of dating someone for a few years (or more) even before they were married; (b) wife/woman may be embarrassed or feel some kind of guilt and shame if she and her now husband were shacking-up before marriage; (c) The wife/woman definitely knows and understands that even if she and her now husband had lived together before marriage, there is something immensely different, beautiful, special, complex, and Holy than just living together for any amount of time.
Which leads me to my final thought(s) on this-if women/wives KNOW that marriage is a different beast than shacking-up, do we tell our children the significance of marriage vs. living together? Do we broach the subject with our family & friends-whom we dearly love-that they should consider the choices they are making? Do we dare go into the marketplace and explain these concepts to politicians and policy makers who we may otherwise support because he/she represents the political party we are beholden to support? Do we stand silent when we are asked about dating, pre-marital relations, co-habitation, etc. because we don't want to offend anyone?
The bottom-line is do we speak the truth in love? If we are Christians, Ephesians 4:15 commands us to do so, but we must be careful that we are not speaking our version of truth (feelings, opinions) and presenting that as the Gospel. While our feelings and opinions have a place, we must first start with, 'What does the Word say about...? and only after presenting what God says about the subject are we to use our feelings and experiences as examples that will help our family and friends.
Let me hear from you!
Evie
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Transparency in Christian Marriages-Let's start with Wifey!
Again, I'm only focusing on Christian marriages because I believe if we want to see real & good change in marriages in general, then we must lead by example-that example being God, given through His word, revealed in Christ.
One of the issues I am more appreciative of today is time. I know, you thought I was going to say the 'S' word (submit), but not directly. Time is important because what we do with our time is an indicator of what's important to us-at least at that moment.
Let me ask you wives-Where do you spend most of your time? Is it caring for your family? Are you working outside the home? How many hours per week do you drive back/forth to work? How many home-cooked meals do you prepare for your family? Are you a full-time homemaker? Do you attend any activities at your kids' school? Is your child in day-care or someone else's care more than 10-15 hours per week-even during the school season? Are we making time to sit and talk to our spouses?
Now some of you are fuming at my questions, I know, but I want to assure you, I'm asking myself some of these questions, too, and more. While you're thinking about these questions and others, I want to hear from you what you're thinking, what do you feel when you ask yourself these questions? Do you feel anger, frustration, overwhelmed, guilt, or anything else? I'm not even focusing on solutions right now, just emotions.
Before I end, I want you to think about this-What does it meant to 'Have it all,' and is there a cost to doing so? Let's start digging in and being honest and transparent with ourselves and each other.
To my Sisters-in-Christ!
One of the issues I am more appreciative of today is time. I know, you thought I was going to say the 'S' word (submit), but not directly. Time is important because what we do with our time is an indicator of what's important to us-at least at that moment.
Let me ask you wives-Where do you spend most of your time? Is it caring for your family? Are you working outside the home? How many hours per week do you drive back/forth to work? How many home-cooked meals do you prepare for your family? Are you a full-time homemaker? Do you attend any activities at your kids' school? Is your child in day-care or someone else's care more than 10-15 hours per week-even during the school season? Are we making time to sit and talk to our spouses?
Now some of you are fuming at my questions, I know, but I want to assure you, I'm asking myself some of these questions, too, and more. While you're thinking about these questions and others, I want to hear from you what you're thinking, what do you feel when you ask yourself these questions? Do you feel anger, frustration, overwhelmed, guilt, or anything else? I'm not even focusing on solutions right now, just emotions.
Before I end, I want you to think about this-What does it meant to 'Have it all,' and is there a cost to doing so? Let's start digging in and being honest and transparent with ourselves and each other.
To my Sisters-in-Christ!
Thursday, June 20, 2013
What I Really Want to Write About!
I've been thinking lately, really thinking and praying about it-that I should write about Christian marriages.
No, not just the seemingly universal problems dealing with finances, children, in-laws, housework, etc., but Christian marriages that are difficult to live through.
I don't want these writings or blogs to turn into a pity-party or a man-bashing/husband-demeaning portal, but I believe there are many Christian marriages that are being endured, not living out their full potential and purpose in Christ.
Let me know what you think. Let me hear from you if you are in a difficult marriage. I believe God can use our transparency to break down strongholds and quicken dead marriages.
Our God specializes in resurrecting that which is dead and since He created marriage, He sure knows how to bring them back to life.
No, not just the seemingly universal problems dealing with finances, children, in-laws, housework, etc., but Christian marriages that are difficult to live through.
I don't want these writings or blogs to turn into a pity-party or a man-bashing/husband-demeaning portal, but I believe there are many Christian marriages that are being endured, not living out their full potential and purpose in Christ.
Let me know what you think. Let me hear from you if you are in a difficult marriage. I believe God can use our transparency to break down strongholds and quicken dead marriages.
Our God specializes in resurrecting that which is dead and since He created marriage, He sure knows how to bring them back to life.
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