Why Do Some Wives Say This?

Ok, now please don't take this the wrong way, but I've been wondering why some women-now wives, respond to this question like this:
Q: How long have you been married?

A: Oh, we've been married 2 years (or 5 or 16 or 25), but we've been together for 12 (or 16 or 22).

Why does being married have to be qualified? What does the extra information mean? Why is it important to the wife answering the question?

I asked myself these questions and I called a friend who is dating someone. She did not know, either but mentioned, "I don't know, E-I'm not married."

The few answers I came up with were: (a) The wife/woman is silently acknowledging the significance of dating someone for a few years (or more) even before they were married; (b) wife/woman may be embarrassed or feel some kind of guilt and shame if she and her now husband were shacking-up before marriage; (c) The wife/woman definitely knows and understands that even if she and her now husband had lived together before marriage, there is something immensely different, beautiful, special, complex, and Holy than just living together for any amount of time.

Which leads me to my final thought(s) on this-if women/wives KNOW that marriage is a different beast than shacking-up, do we tell our children the significance of marriage vs. living together? Do we broach the subject with our family & friends-whom we dearly love-that they should consider the choices they are making? Do we dare go into the marketplace and explain these concepts to politicians and policy makers who we may otherwise support because he/she represents the political party we are beholden to support? Do we stand silent when we are asked about dating, pre-marital relations, co-habitation, etc. because we don't want to offend anyone?

The bottom-line is do we speak the truth in love? If we are Christians, Ephesians 4:15 commands us to do so, but we must be careful that we are not speaking our version of truth (feelings, opinions) and presenting that as the Gospel. While our feelings and opinions have a place, we must first start with, 'What does the Word say about...? and only after presenting what God says about the subject are we to use our feelings and experiences as examples that will help our family and friends.

Let me hear from you!

Evie