Today I substituted at a local elementary school-a fourth grade class-and I spent the last half of the day as the hall monitor.
I can only imagine what goes on at home (or doesn't) with most of these kids.
Nine & ten year olds walking the halls, cursing, shouting at teachers, (and those are the least aggressive students) was the norm. One student absolutely refused to listen to anyone and would enter & leave any classroom he pleased, without any repercussions. I asked the counselor if his behavior was a daily occurrence and she replied, "Yes. No one can do anything with him. He doesn't listen to anyone and he stays in the hallway or the classroom as he chooses."
And that is what this student did all day. He interrupted other classrooms, would sit in the hall reading a magazine or sing out loud. He would even walk the hallway and have his pencil scrape over all the lockers as he walked.
Of course, I asked a few administrators and teachers, "Where are the parents? Have they been notified?" I even collected a few names of students and told them I would call their parents on my break-which I attempted to do, only to be shot down by the school secretary with, "Those are the same students we've called about before-with no response."
Can you imagine? When I & most of you reading this were in grade school, we were afraid of the teachers & administrators. Of course there were always class clowns & maybe, maybe one or two bad kids, but even they knew their limits. Teachers had no qualms about pulling us up, even by the collar, but really, in most cases, all it took was having to stay for detention and our behavior & attitude would shape up quickly.
Now, what I'm about to say will undoubtedly make the blood boil in some of you, but, that's never stopped me before: Most of the students in this school were black kids, living in single-parent/female homes, no fathers or significant male role models, and a predominantly female-run school. Most of the students were reading below average (if at all), and most of them could not complete basic science & math problems.
But, these kids knew the latest pop & rap music, artists, fashion trends, & popular television shows.
Most of these kids did not even register the words, 'authority,' or 'adult,' or 'respect,' or the like. And, most of them had no fear when they were told their parents would be contacted about their behavior.
Why am I writing all this? First, I need to vent. I know most of you have heard this story before, either personally or in the national media. Most of us are surely aware of the ill-consequences to families, children, & society when generations of children are raised without dads. Yes, I'm sure you know those data and stats.
Second, I am writing to ask all parents, whether or not your kids attend school X or Y, when is the last time you visited your child's school? When is the last time you actually met & discussed your child's academic progress face-to-face, with your child's teachers?
When is the last time you discussed and accepted that your child's behavior is out of control and your child needs some strict, tough, discipline? When is the last time you faced yourself and admitted to yourself that you are not parenting well and you need some help with properly rearing your child?
When is the last time you actually came to grips with the fact that your child is on the fast-track to being a menace to society?
Do you remember the novel, "Lord of the Flies"? If you do, you have a vivid picture of what that school looked like today.
But, I bet these derelicts will receive the expensive Ipods, Playstations, & other gadgets on Christmas because mommy (and daddy in some cases) believes they are entitled to have their feelings assuaged because mommy would feel so guilty if she carried out the promised consequences for bad behavior.
And the menaces begat menaces.
